God's word repeatedly emphasizes people's freedom to choose. The decision to follow Christ was not forced upon us, it was offered to us as a free gift - a choice. How many times have we taken advantage of this principle, and chosen to oppose God's plan? Try and place yourself in God's shoes for a moment. Can you even really imagine the frustration He must have with "difficult people?"
As Americans, we love to leverage our "right to choose." Often we use this cop-out about the time someone wants us to do something that WE don't want to do. If you have ever been in ministry or a place of management, I can guarantee you have gone home at night steaming over "difficult people." So, if people have a free will, and a legal right to choose, then how do we deal with difficult people?
- Be motivated by peace. This principle can be found in Scripture in places like Hebrews 12:14 and Romans 12:18. The Word requires that we pursue peace will all men as much as is possible. Hebrews reminds us that without the pursuit of peace, no one will see the Lord. I do not believe the author is just referencing lost people! Often those who disrupt the peace are distant in their relationship with the Lord, making them selfish.
- Be a servant of peace. Have you ever known someone who just could not be at peace unless EVERYTHING was going his or her way? We could probably describe this person as always having to be right, always having to be the center of attention, or having a flair for the dramatic. Right now a person has popped into your brain, and you are racking your brain trying to come up with a solution to their peace problem. Let me put your mind at ease. YOU CAN'T! What can you do? You can follow the principle of Philippians 2:3-4, humble yourself, and put their best interests in mind...keeping in mind that they need Jesus.
- Live at peace. OK, you see the value of peace, and you're doing your dead-level best to put their best interests in mind, but they have played your good heart and sought control of your life....it happens. Romans 16:17 tells us to mark those who cause divisions and offenses, and Proverbs 22:3 states that a prudent man foresees evil and hides himself. My mind goes back to the story of Joseph. After Potiphar's wife had caused so many problems, there came a time when he just had to avoid her and hide himself. If you are like me, you really want to "fix" the problem in someone else's heart by playing the Holy Spirit. But, if your difficult person will not respond to reason, you just have to avoid them. Sometimes that hurts...but if we are to live at peace, we cannot allow our lives and hearts to be manipulated by those who do not.
- Communicating peace isn't always vocal. The person you have had to separate from now wants to be heard. Some have their mind made up that their opinion and perception of you is right no matter what anyone says. They honestly believe THEY are the victim of your actions. Proverbs 26:4-5 warns us not to answer a fool according to his folly. This really plays off the above principle, but friend, there does come a time when there is nothing else you can say or do.
- Find peace within. Psalm 119:165 says it best. "Great peace have those who love Your law, and nothing shall offend them." This passage speaks to both sides of the conflict. To you, the one who is struggling to MAKE peace, stop and realize that YOU cannot. Peace comes from God. Focus your love and attention on HIM, and He will help calm the storm within you. Often our hearts cry in desperation " I JUST CAN'T DO ANYTHING RIGHT!" It is in that moment that we must stand still, and let God move. He will fight our battles way more effectively than we ever could. Stop worrying over something you cannot change.
Dear friend, you may be the person that others are reaching out to. Many have tried to make peace with you, many have offered great personal sacrifice just to make your life easier, yet you sit in denial as peacemakers fight to keep your relationship alive. Maybe you have even gone so far as to turn other people against those who make peace, because as you've heard "misery loves company." Let me remind you that GREAT peace have those who love God's law, and nothing will offend them. Turn your focus off of YOU for a second, put everyone else's interests ahead of yours, and watch unity in Christ miraculously take place. Peace in, and peace out.
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