Yes...It Can Hurt To Ask
Each year of my childhood my family ministered at a camp-meeting in Alabama. During this week of meetings, people from all over the country would come to fellowship and get recharged. Wonderful people! Lots of friends, with whom I have countless amazing memories. And.... the "B" family also came. The B family had a ton of kids, a mob of girls with one exception. Matthew.
Typing his name even now rings the "dun dun dunnnn" music in my ears. Among several haunting memories of this child, one will never leave my mind. During the day sessions, the kids would play outside, and my favorite thing to do was ride my scooter down the long sloping driveway. Sounds fun enough, but once I got to the top of the hill there was Matt waiting with a question: "Can I ride your scooter?" Every day. Every time. Without fail....the impeding question. "Can I ride your scooter? Can I? Please, can I ride your scooter?"
You've heard it said, "It never hurts to ask!" That old gem is fun to say, but so so so wrong. There is a lot of harm in asking. You can damage a friendship by over asking. You can kill a relationship by asking for something too soon. You can ruin a negotiation by asking for too many things.
Matt was the kind of kid who asked for a lot of things....annoyingly so. So much that when I meet kids from back then, even kids that didn't have a silver, Razor® Scooter with black handle bars and specialty red shocks; at the mention of Matt's name, without fail the thing they remember is "Can I ride your scooter?"
Favors are currency. If you deposit into an account, you will find it easy to withdraw. Sometimes you ask prior to any deposit. That is a loan, and loans always accrue interest as you pay them back. However, some people borrow what they never intend to repay. Some will overdraw their accounts losing any opportunity to draw from that account again. We could label these people hustlers, jerks, and worst of all.....leeches or moochers. And just like in the monitory world, your credit score precedes you - and it's hard to change.
Favors cost. We all have those "Matt's" in our lives who ask too many favors. Though they truly believe there is no harm in asking, there is. Sometimes more than they know.
Don't withdraw from where you have not deposited.